Guys... This isn't a creepypasta, it's not some fake ass story,
THIS IS TOTALLY REAL.

I kinda want to share what happened to me about a week ago.

The other day, I received a... weird phone call in the middle of the night...

I figured it was my father, because who else would be calling me at this hour?
Sure enough, it was him...but...he was...crying...
Actually, he was SOBBING. I've never EVER heard my dad this upset. He sounded as if he suddenly turned into a raving, miserable lunatic losing his marbles by the second. My heart raced at an extremely fast pace. My dad is like, the last person in the WORLD who would cry about ANYTHING, ESPECIALLY like this!

But what scared me the most was...

he told me my mom was dead...
and hung up...

I was terrified out of my mind at this point. I was so scared I shit my fucking pants. But when I did, it wasn't NEARLY how I thought it would be...
When it came out, it wasn't just a turtle head poking out for air (Couldn't resist haha), It was a constant and excruciatingly painful explosion of fecal matter. I never felt such pain and fear in my entire life.

After what felt like hours of torturous projectile defecating, I remembered my mother.

"MOM!" I yelled across the hall hoping she was okay.

As I ran down the hall, she was just leaving her room . She said she heard screaming and a strange sound resembling my uncle on a fried chicken Friday.
I was relieved to see my mother safe, but I still was deeply troubled by that phone call...

I tried to tell my mom about the conversation with dad, but before I could say anything, she shrieked at the sight of the living room. I didn't even see the damage until now. I couldn't believe the horrendous sight and smell.
Shit was everywhere. I'm not exaggerating, it was EVERYWHERE. On the walls, on the ceiling, on the couch, EVERYWHERE.

After my disbelief that a single human being could store so much waste in their body, my mom noticed a very distinct color.
Red.
Until now, I hadn't noticed I was still in terrible pain. I guess it was the adrenaline rush of fear for my mother.
I collapsed to the floor, grasping my stomach. I noticed I was much thinner.

My mom immediately called 911. and the ambulance was on their way. Afterward she dialed for my dad. I was very weak at this point and was beginning to pass out, but I still remember my mother talking to him. But it ddn't seem like anything was wrong. I mean, I guess my dad was back to the way he was based on hearing my mom talk to him.


The next morning, I woke up in the hospital feeling very dizzy and terribly sore. Mom and dad were sitting at my bedside.

I asked why my dad was so upset on the phone... He said he had no idea what I was talking about...
Now, I was deeply confused. I told my dad EVERYTHING about what happened. But he denied calling me at all...

If it wasn't him... then...

HOW THE HELL WAS I ABLE TO SHIT SO MUCH ANYWAY?? I MEAN SERIOUSLY!! IT'S PHYSICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO HAVE THAT MUCH SHIT IN YOUR BODY!!


Soon afterward, I died and turned into a zombie Pokemon ghost mummy. For the rest of eternity, my spirit is doomed to forever haunt the videogames belonging to nostalgic teenagers.

So yeah, my week has been...

well...shitty....

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I bet you $100000000000000000000000 that the creepypasta site will accept this :3